You tink it right ..... dat on de Eve .....of de Eve ..... of Christmas Eve ..... I should be stressin!?

Noooooo ..... I should be drinkin some Sorrel ..... and eatin some Pastelle ....... and washin dat down with some Black Cake and Ponche de Creme!!!

Earlier dis year ...... when de mark had buss on CLICO ...... I didn't dig no scene ...... cuz ah tell mehself ...... Government bailin dem out  ...... we (Policyholders) eh have nuttin tuh worry about ..... we safe! ..... den too ..... is real small money I have wit dem ...... so knowing dat meh policy was due tuh 'mature' dis month ...... I carried orn as normal ..... payin meh premium ..... and counting down tuh December!

Now doh ask meh what de policy is about eh ...... cuz ah doh know ...... I take out dat policy in de dark ages ...... when I was about 20 ...... and when Insurance Agents used tuh stalk yuh until yuh take out ah policy! ...... all I know .... is dat every five years ..... it does 'mature' ...... and ..... being the anal person that I am ...... I diarise dat shit!

Thankfully ..... and coincidentally (re de setta money ah jus spend on surgery) ..... de 4th installment became due this month ...... December 7 ..... and on December 7 self ...... ah get de advice in de mail ...... so on December 8 ah call dem tuh enquire and acquire (my cheque) ..... and to find out how tuh cancel de policy ..... cuz as ah say ...... I have dat policy donkey years now ...... and I really doh want it no more ......

So ring ring ..... I ask for Catherine (whose name was one of three CSRs tuh contact) ...... and I give her my story ..... to which she advises ..... that my November premium did not come in as yet ...... and that I have one of two options:

1. Either wait until the November premium is received ..... and they make the cheque for the full amount ..... or
2. Proceed with the cheque ..... less de November premium ..... and when it eventually reach .... they would just give me back via another cheque ....

Now mind you ...... ah doh know why de france ...... on December 8 ...... dey still had not received my November premium eh ..... cuz is ah bloody standing order I have ..... fuh de 23rd monthly!

Anyway ..... after contemplating those two very simple options (fuh all of two seconds) ...... I told Catherine that I'd take de cheque now (i.e. less de November premium) ...... and we'll deal wit de November premium after ..... 

Right ...... December 15 reach now ..... an' ah cyah hear or see nuttin ...... so I call Catherine tuh follow-up ...... cuz is ah whole week pass ..... and nobody eh callin tuh say dat de cheque ready ...... well is like who tell me do dat ...... ah get boof yes ...... cuz apparently ....... de day after ah talk tuh her (December 9) ....... de November payment come eeeen ...... and she had supposedly done process de transaction ..... so she then had tuh go and do over de whole scene ...... blah, blah, blah ......

But ..... WHAT @#*$%^& EVER!!!! ...... T.M.I.!!! ...... da'is not my problem ...... I jus want tuh know de date tuh collect de cheque!!!

So anyway ..... as ah was sayin ..... my gyul wit her newfound attitude ..... then advises that the cheque should actually be ready that same day (i.e. December 15) ..... and that she'd call me when it is ...... in other words ..... DON'T CALL US, WE'LL CALL YOU!

December 22 reach now (today!) ...... ah nex whole week later ...... and Catherine cyah call me yet!! ...... so I call AGAIN! ..... but I eh ask fuh Catherine ..... cuz if I did only talk tuh she ..... and she give me more attitude ...... ah woulda have tuh hit she ah TSTT cuss ...... so I let the call go to the Operator ..... and I ask for the CUSTOMER SERVICE Department ..... where a very sprightly Nisha answers ..... so I give Nisha my story ..... and I enquire as to when my cheque would be ready ...... to which she replies ..... I CAN'T SAY ....... Grrrrrrrrrr??!! ...... how long does it take to issue ah cheque fuh small-ass money???!!!!

I then suddenly remember that ...... tis the season to be jolly ..... and I take a deep breath ..... and I explain to her ..... that today is two weeks since my policy 'matured' .... and I need to know when I can collect my cheque ..... to which she replies again ...... "I really can't say but I'm seeing here on the system that Catherine is handling this, so I'll see if she can give you an update, what's your number?"

Fa la la ..... la la ..... la la ..... la ...... la ...... I just said OK ..... Thank You (for @#*$%^& nothing) ...... my number is so so so!

So yuh see what goin orn here ...... dis is ah classic Trini run-around!! ...... nobody know nuttin ...... and everybody palmin orf on somebody else!!

...... 3 hours and 30 minutes have passed ...... since I spoke with Nisha ...... and Catherine eh fart on me yet ...... wit ah 'update'!!!

..... an' ah now talk tuh meh fren who workin First Citizens (which is de Bank dat have some kyna connection tuh dis whole CLICO bacchanal) ...... an' she tell meh ...... "Scene gyul - doh hold yuh breath - yuh go dead - cuz it have people waitin over 6 months now fuh dey money from CLICO!"
 
JAH!!!

Anyway ..... while this saga continues ..... I leave you with two pics ..... jus tuh lighten de vibes lil bit




Saw dis on de Western Main Road, St. James ...... while goin tuh buy Gyros ..... which by the way ..... seems tuh be de hot new shit now ...... is every two blocks (in Woodbrook and St. James) have ah Gyro stand ..... and wit real Syrians runnin dem too!!




Purchased this (for a friend) on Saturday at Sports and Games, Long Circular Mall ......

Crocs (a.k.a. VINYL 'SIPPER') have tuh be most ugliest footwear dey ever invent ...... it so big and obzockee ...... ah could really picture some drunkard 'Sippin' from it fuh tru .....